You Girls Never Know
by CharlieSchulz
Summary: Sirius and James overhear some crazy ideas from the girl's dormitory and start to realize.. well, maybe the ideas weren't that crazy after all.


**This fic was written in January for the fest over at **_mwpp_mischief_**. I don't own anything, it's all J.K.**

"Mary Macdonald, you tart!" someone giggled behind the closed door as two teenage boys shuffled their way towards it. One of the gents, a messy haired man with specs, turned to grin at the other. His friend, regal and mischievous, returned the smile, and they continued forward once more.

"I'm just saying!"

"Oh Mary, don't talk about something like that!"

"Well why the bloody hell not? Is it a crime to suggest that if ever there were-"

A dull thud was heard by the lads followed by hysterical laughter, and they moved even closer to the door, eagerly. The two boys, James Potter and Sirius Black, were in the process that most people refer to as eavesdropping. However because they were being rather sneaky and invisible and didn't really plan on being caught, they liked to refer to their hobby as _investigating_. The girls' dormitory had been rather under explored until they realized that all they needed to do was not touch the stairs to get up, and - hell they were wizards weren't they?

That very realization was the dawning of a new start, a new year, a new way to enjoy being sixteen years old. So far they hadn't done anything particularly frowned-upon, as Sirius's girlfriend was a Ravenclaw, and a bit of a prude at that, and Marlene McKinnon had told James they had to "take-it-slow" if he wanted them to be anything.

Truly James didn't care for her at all, just really wanted a shag. He , was however, rather smart and knew that if he'd told Marlene that he probably wouldn't be physically able to shag for a very, very long time.

Sirius caught James' eye as they leaned against the wooden door, and grinned as if to say –_we could be discovered at any second, but goddamnit, that's what makes it fun, yeh?_- and James replied with his own eyebrow raise, a steady comeback that screamed –_Merlin, I knew we were mates for a reason_-

"Oh Mary, please stop talking about that! It's just not.. not normal, you know?"

"Geez Lil, stop being a prude!"

"My mum's Catholic, excuse me for being a little hesitant when you talk about racy things like.. like.."

Both boys predictably leaned forward at this point, completely entranced at what Evans was babbling about. There was a twinkle in Sirius's eye that James hadn't seen since Remus had mentioned Amy Hamilton and Helen Flynn kissing in the common room during the last Quidditch party.

"-like two boys having.. making love!"

Confusion passed over both James's and Sirius's face. They shrugged at one another, waiting for the news of just which two ponces they'd be making fun of next.

"You can't admit that it wouldn't be fun to watch though, Evans! C'mon, just imagine it-"

"It's true, Lily! Just picture how.. how hot it would be! Can you?"

"Psh, if I had my choice I wouldn't just be watching!"

"Marlene, what're you getting at.."

"I mean, hello – threesome!"

"Marlene!"

"Oh, just say you weren't thinking about it, Mary! I agree with Marly, just try and say it wouldn't be completely _amazing_-"

"Well I mean as far as rumors go they're pretty damn good at what they do-"

"Pretty good? I dated Potter for two months, and believe me, we didn't spend the time _knitting_-"

"We've heard your sexy stories about the boy, alright!"

"And I really don't believe his tongue is _that_ long Sarah-"

"Oh trust me, it is. It most certainly _is_."

More laughter came as the gents tried even harder to figure out what the mad birds were talking about.

"Well how can you even justify that they have a relationship? I mean, they've been best mates since God knows.."

"You think all they've been up to is pranks and flirting with girls? They have pet names for each other, Lil! You've heard them go back and forth!"

"Well, I suppose, but I always sort of assumed.."

James froze, having already understood what they were getting at. His brain shut down at the shear possibility, the shear truth that people saw him and Sirius like that. That they imagined the two of them.. shagging. If there was ever a moment for James to pray to that Muggle 'God', it was now; he had no desire for anyone else to ever hear this.

"Hey, Padfoot," mocked Marlene in a deep voice, "pass me the potatoes."

_Oh shit_ was the first thought that came to his mind as he finally got what they were talking about. Sirius stilled immediately and made a noise that sounded a lot like –_fuck_- to James, but he wasn't in the right mind to hear correctly.

"Sure thing, Prongs," Mary giggled her way through, also attempting deep vocals, "how 'bout a snog after dinner, yeah?"

"Sounds brilliant, Padfoot! See you then!"

The dormitory exploded in laughter-shrilly, high pitched giggling. The two boys on the other side of the door remained emotionless however, as if their entire bodies had been made of stone. Awkwardness settled between them like it often does when something happens that maybe, _just maybe_, had a little shred of truth in it.

Sirius wasn't exactly sure when they made their way back to the boy's dormitories. He wasn't exactly sure of the foggy details, wasn't sure exactly how he'd made it into his bed, freshly dressed in his bed clothes, with his teeth shining and clean.

All he was certain of was that he was indeed in bed, and James was in the bed next to his. Of course, Remus and Peter were also in their beds, snoring and wanking and sleeping like usual. Sirius was certain they had no idea how strange the night had been. They didn't know he was in his bed and James was in his bed, and they were really, really awkward right now in their beds. And Sirius was also certain that he could not get that word out of his head: bed. -_Bed. Bed head. Head bed. Merlin_- And for some reason, all of this kept going back to James, and the way he looked at Sirius _before_ Mary Macdonald started being a tart, and then _after_ they'd found out about their supposed dirty little rumor.

And that really wasn't fair, because it wasn't his fault that the girls had got off on the idea of James kissing him or biting his neck or sucking the skin near his hip. It wasn't his fault that Marlene McKinnon thought it'd be hot if James shoved his hand down Sirius's pants or if he kissed the skin behind Sirius's ear or if he licked his long tongue up Sirius's body. It really wasn't his fault that the idea was rather.. _appealing_.

And just as these thoughts were whirling around his head at the speed of light, he made a decision.

The next second he had climbed into James bed, sat on top of his chest and put his face right next to James', yelling in a whisper,

"We should shag!"

James woke from his fake slumber in a heartbeat, looking up into his best-mates' eyes awkwardly and turned his head away. He replied, looking away and trying desperately to take his arm out from under Sirius's arse while wondering _where the fuck that came from_.

"What the bloody hell you on about?"

"I said," replied Sirius in a drawl that suggested that he was rather sick of the questions and wanted to get on with it, "that we should shag. You know, make love. Have sexual intercourse. Fuck. Whatever word you'd like to choose, I suppose. You get the meaning."

"No, I heard that," James assured him, still tugging on his arm that was on its way to falling asleep, "I meant, the bit about _we_. The _we_ part freaks me out a little."

"Why? You still a cherry?"

"No! You know about me and Sarah. And geez, would you keep it down, eh? Don't want Moony to wake up."

"He sleeps like the dead, and you haven't answered my question yet, you poof."

"What's that?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why the flying fuck are you so scared about us shagging?"

James stopped trying to free his arm and instead just looked his friend, his Sirius in the eye.

"Scared? I'm not _scared_.."

"Then what are you? Homophobic?"

"I'm not against fairies or anything I just.."

"What? Jesus Christ, what is it?"

"Well what if we fuck up? What if we do shag, and it's horrible and then we have to be best mates for the rest of Hogwarts knowing that we've.. that we've done some strange things.. together..?"

Sirius took a second from thinking the things he'd been pondering a second ago, all mainly circling around –_James is fit, I bet he's good in bed.. I like his hair.. hmm, you know, he does have a rather sexy chin_- and instead focused on the actual idea, the actual thought that he wanted to have _sex_ with his _best mate_.

It took Sirius a second of serious consideration before he realized that he would never take the safe, 'Remus Lupin' approach to things, that he'd really rather take a chance instead of sitting on the sidelines all the time.

So he kissed James right on the mouth.

It wasn't their first kiss. The first time they'd kissed they were twelve and it was accidental, a complete woospy-daisy on their parts. The second time was in fourth year, when they'd decided that they'd better learn how to kiss before they started getting girls. It had only been a couple seconds of mindless, wet fumbling before they heard Remus leave the loo, and they broke apart awkwardly.

The last time their lips had met was after the Hufflepuff/Gryffindor game a year before, where James had gotten 17 points-more than any other players-and had gotten wasted at the victory party. Everyone had passed out at 3 except James and Sirius, who spent an hour reliving all of their best moments together. They both fell asleep right after James had climbed onto Sirius's lap and gave him a big smack on the lips.

The kiss they shared in James bed, however, was much, much different than any of the previous ones.

For one thing, neither of them was drunk. For another, they knew how to kiss now, quite accurately _thank-you-very-much_. And finally, because it wasn't an accidental kiss. Both parties were aware of what they were doing, and Lord knows they enjoyed it.

Quite a bit.

Sirius, being the one on top, had full control of the kiss. He pushed James into the mattress hard, loving the way he could grip the man's shoulders without hearing the girly complaint of –_Sirius, you're hurting me!_-. He loved the way James kissed back just as angrily without hesitation, twisting his fingers under Sirius's bed shirt. He loved the feeling of the long tongue prodding at his own tongue, delving through his mouth, and for Agrippa's sake –_Sarah Fenwick was actually right about something_.

The wild, messy, uncontrollable hair that Sirius had always liked was now making him wild, messy and uncontrollable himself. His hips pushed into James' on their own accord. His heartbeat pounded against James' and his fingers found their way around James', lifting his hands above his head.

"Merlin," the boy underneath Sirius gasped, as he was let up for air, "my arm's asleep."

"How bad?" asked Sirius, as he casually tightened his grip on James' wrists, and nudged their noses together.

"Pins and needles," James commented lightly as he placed a kiss to the side of his friends' face, "I bloody well hate them-ahhhh," he moaned a little, as a particularly well placed bite from Sirius was laid on his neck, " watch it, mate!"

"Sorry," mumbled Sirius, not really meaning it at all.

"You're not," laughed James, "but that's okay. I'm glad you didn't listen to me."

Sirius chuckled a bit and then sighed against James' cheek and stayed there for a second. He wasn't so sure what he wanted at the moment. He knew that he wanted James, that much was certain, from his less than subtle hardness down below. He was also pretty sure that James wanted him, because he hadn't complained once that he should be on top, and just as Sirius was thinking this, there was a certain mouth placing kisses on his ear.

So that was.. well, _good_ would be an understatement.

However Sirius was also pretty sure that he didn't want to shag James. Not right now at least. He wanted to kiss him a little longer, he wanted to lie next to him in bed for a night or two, he wanted to hold his hand under the table at dinner and watch a blush go on the boy's neck.

Sirius wanted to give James hickeys and make Remus go mad in trying to figure out who James had been snogging. He wanted to break James out of Arithmancy someday and pull him into a broom closet with him. He wanted to fret and worry and then buy James something nice for his birthday.

And it was at that moment, Sirius realized that he did _not_ want to have _sex_ with his _best mate_. He finally understood that he had no desire of being a Gryffindor girl's dream, or to shag James every day.

Honestly, all Sirius Black wanted was to be in love with James Potter.

He wanted a relationship, not a shag. He wanted kisses, not snogs. He wanted to make love, not fuck.

And although he felt like such a girl-and Jesus Christ, who knew he'd be the bird in their coupling?-Sirius knew he had to tell this to James.

Had to tell James, his James, the same boy who was currently working his mouth down Sirius's chest.

"James?" asked Sirius rather breathlessly.

"Yeah, mate?" James murmured against his best mate's skin, completely sure that he'd been wrong before, that there was no way in hell something this good could ever be considered _wrong_.

"What would you say if I stopped snogging you right now?"

"Well, I'd probably say something along the lines of: Sirius - you bastard, keep snogging me."

"What if I gave you a good reason?"

"Sirius," James started, pulling back from Sirius's chest, and looking the boy in the eye, "you're not going to spout off that best mate bullshit I tried selling you on, are you? Cause I was dead wrong; this is not strange at all-fuck this is _perfect_."

"No, no it's not that," Sirius took a breath, trying to steady himself after hearing that James and he shared the same thought-that goddamnit, they were pretty _perfect_ together weren't they?-"it's just.. well, I want to slow down a bit, that's all."

"Now you sound like McKinnon," James pouted slightly, "and she's a bit of a bitch-prude."

"Bitch-prude?" asked Sirius, winking at his mate, "I like it."

James grinned back, "well thank you."

"But you must admit, if weren't for her, we wouldn't exactly be here right now, would we?"

There was silence for a second, only the mumbled sound of Remus snoring, the gentle hum of Peter's sleep-talk, and the gasp of their breathing mixing together could be heard.

"I guess you're right about that," James whispered, his eyes darkening, and his lips moving up to brush Sirius's mouth.

Sirius placed a kiss back and the moved off James, shoving him to the side so he could snuggle down next to him.

"What's this then?" James inquired lightly, bring his arm around Sirius and pulling him into his chest.

"I want to sleep with you," Sirius mumbled lightly kissing James's collarbone, "before I sleep with you."

James grinned, although no one saw it, and brushed his lips lightly over Sirius hair, brushing it back from his forehead, "you girl."

"Shut up," Sirius practically slurred as sleep overwhelmed him and –_Merlin, how can James possibly be this warm all the time?_- "I happen to be.. be very manly.. you know.."

"Alright, alright," James whispered, snuggling and stretching and getting more comfortable in his best mate's arms, "Goodnight Sirius."

"G'night Jamie.."

James allowed the nickname just that once and instead focused on the fact that there was a man in his arms, and that man was his best mate, and that it didn't matter because _fuck_ this was beautiful. And part of his mind wandered to Evans and how she'd think this was wrong, and how Mary would think it was hot, and how Moony was probably going to throw up when he saw them the next morning.

But mostly James just thought about how he was happier than he'd been in a while. And it was all because of Sirius Black and a rumor made by some girls who had nothing better to do.

_Thank Merlin for eavesdropping_, was the last conscious thing James remembered before falling peaceful asleep next to his rather fantastic best mate.


End file.
